Keeping up appearances shouldn't take precedence over getting help for an ailing sex life. Those habits, if sustained may not be compatible with monogamous or polygamous family. Even our children know the difference and sometimes cast their support in favor of one of the parents. This anger can be something that's grown up within the marriage and not been dealt with, like, for example if a woman gave up her job to look after the children and feels she hasn't been sufficiently recognised for this, or is angry that she no longer has any control of the family finances. We have many others but the overriding point is the infidelities of the women that are not different from those of men tolerated for centuries. There's a fear that he might be counting the times, and if I don't live up to his expectations then there might be awful consequences - an affair, I suppose, which I'd then feel was my fault. After all, surely that would mean they would be more likely to remain faithful to the father of their children, not finding other men alluring.
So encounters are never equal, an average experience less than ecstasy, may lead to remorse, withdrawal and repeat. But what if there was nothing wrong with them at all? If we live in a culture that thinks sex is the glue that keeps a marriage together, that believes passion should be 'kept alive' and rampant, that even says that disappointing sex is a reason to leave a marriage - as we do - then one to three times a month will be seen as a disappointing figure. So men have paid heavy fines in court for alienation of affection through others. Who decreed that grown adults who have already had children should be making love several times a week? No wonder many married women feel that something is lacking when they turn to their husband with a head full of shopping lists and a sense of wifely duty. Traditionally, the truth about married sex has always been incredibly hard to uncover. Until that time, however, it seems thousands of otherwise loving and dutiful wives will continue to construct elaborate reasons why they cannot sleep with their increasingly exasperated husbands. The idea that sex drive wanes for a woman after she has had children would certainly seem to make biological and evolutionary sense. A Kenyan caught his wife in the act with a Pastor and forced both of them into public glare humiliation. That's as it should be, but it isn't so healthy when couples feel that admitting to any kind of difficulty in the marriage is tantamount to a public failure. Once is not enough, when we desire more to top the previous, we rationalize it. Attractions to perfect bodies like the ones on TV or magazines are like drugs. African men are stereotyped as typical examples of polygamy though it is the most common form of marriage practiced in the world compared to serial monogamists. It's hard to get in touch with my own desire when I feel like that. What's fascinating now, though, is the idea that rather than telling their husbands they don't feel like making love, women are actively seeking any excuse they can think of to get out of sleeping with them. Those noted for the disappearance of their wives are used to stereotype white men as if Africans and Asians do not. There's no longer any reproductive purpose. It ranges from irreconcilable differences to cruelty. Women often prefer sleeping, reading and watching TV to having sex The traditional three-times-a-week figure that's often quoted as the average number of times married couples have sex has been proved to be wishful thinking, as women pour out the truth on online forums. But then, we may not listen to our children and the way others expect us to behave all the time at the expense of individual liberty or family values. It boils down to the fact that sex, the root cause of infidelity or irreconcilable differences may have a short shelf life not worth disrupting a whole lifetime of friendships for. It isn't helped by the fact that if the media is to be believed, everyone else is at it like the proverbial rabbits. But, more than that, suddenly sex felt like such a chore. There's a fear that he might be counting the times, and if I don't live up to his expectations then there might be awful consequences - an affair, I suppose, which I'd then feel was my fault.
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